Letting Little Ones Choose: A Simple Way to Soothe Bedtime Worries

Bedtime can sometimes feel like a bit of a battle, with little ones finding all sorts of reasons to delay and tempers running high. But what if a few simple, gentle choices could help your child feel in charge and make drifting off a whole lot easier? You’ve got this.

 

This post outlines small, screen-free options, low-friction bedtime swaps, and simple ways to introduce and stick to choices so routines become calmer. Try a couple of the ideas and you’ll likely notice less resistance and quicker settling, so bedtime starts to hit different for your household.

 

 

Simple tweaks to make bedtime feel less of a battle

 

Giving little ones two or three safe choices can really help them feel in control, which means fewer power struggles and a lovely chance for them to practise making decisions. Keep the options similar so you’re still gently steering things, and try to follow through quickly so it feels meaningful. When children feel listened to and get to pick the small stuff, everyone tends to get on better—and bedtime can just hit different in the best way.

 

Let little ones take the lead with bedtime choices that feel simple and doable. Whether it's picking which pyjamas to wear, choosing the bedtime story, deciding which soft toy snuggles in, or picking the night light colour, offering clear choices helps bedtime routines feel less like a battle and more like a moment of connection. You might ask, "Do you fancy the dinosaur story or the space story tonight? It's up to you." Keep boundaries gentle by offering only options you're happy with, and try to avoid open-ended questions that might cause overwhelm. Think about your child's age and temperament too. Toddlers usually like seeing their choices, while older children might enjoy picking the order of the routine, how long to spend on a calming activity, or even sorting out tomorrow's outfit. If your child finds it tricky to choose, you can calmly decide for them, and always celebrate their decisions when they do make one. Change up the choices now and then to keep things fresh, and remember, consistency really helps bedtime start to hit different. Most importantly, you’ve got this.

 

Use a screen-free sleep device to ease bedtime choices.

 

 

Gentle Ways to Create Screen-Free Bedtime Moments

 

Try offering two or three screen-free choices that feel lovely in the hand – maybe a couple of cosy books, a favourite soft toy, or a gentle nightlight in a different colour. Keeping options simple and clear helps little ones stay calm and feel in control – it just hits different when things aren’t overwhelming. You could ask, ‘Would you like the dinosaur pyjamas or the stripy ones?’ and let them decide with no fuss. Letting your child pick the order of their bedtime bits, like popping on pyjamas, brushing teeth, or choosing the story, gives them a bit of say and keeps everything ticking along nicely. You’ve got this.

 

Little ones over 12 months old often love having soothing sensory options around – maybe a favourite blanket, a gentle shoulder rub, a squishy cushion or some soft, calm sounds. Let your child decide what helps them feel cosy and settled. For babies under 12 months, it’s safest to skip loose blankets or cushions in their sleep space, just to keep things snug and sound. Building in tiny rituals, like choosing the bedtime story, picking a lullaby or whether the door stays a tad open, can really help. These little choices give children a sense of control and help bedtime feel less like a battle. Calmer kids, quicker zzz’s. You’ve got this.

 

Play calming, screen-free sessions to soothe bedtime.

 

 

How Gentle Choices Create Calm That Hits Different

 

Try the two-choice trick at bedtime – give your child two simple options so they feel in charge, while you keep things on track. It really does hit different when little ones feel they’ve got a say. For example, you might say, 'Would you like the blue pyjamas or the dinosaur ones?' When they choose, you can celebrate with, 'Great, dinosaur pyjamas it is. Let’s pop them on and pick a story.' Some things are a must, like brushing teeth, but you can still offer a choice: 'Teeth brushing is a must, but you get to pick – strawberry toothpaste or mint? Then we’ll have a story.' Try to stick to two or three options, as too many can feel overwhelming for tired minds. Making choices visual helps too – try a little bedtime board or some choice cards. You can mix it up by age: a cuddle blanket or soft toy for toddlers, two favourite stories for preschoolers, or maybe a playlist or book chapter for older kids. You’ve got this.

 

Stick with the choices gently: when your little one decides, respond with calm and carry on with the bedtime routine you chatted about—consistency really helps them feel safe and avoids endless back-and-forth. If they’re not keen, gently remind them of their choice, saying something like, ‘You picked the dinosaur pyjamas, so let’s pop them on together’. If they’re feeling wobbly, offer two cosy options—a cuddle or some soft music, a bit of warm milk or a sip of water. Celebrate the tiny wins and remember, these small moments of agency hit different. You’ve got this.

 

Little, screen-free choices at bedtime can really help kids feel in control and keep those bedtime battles at bay. When you offer just a couple of simple options, it takes the pressure off everyone and helps children settle in more easily—research backs this up. Giving brief, clear choices not only makes things smoother but also lets little ones practise making decisions for themselves. You’ve got this!

 

Begin with two simple, screen-free options, such as two pairs of pyjamas, two books, or a soft comfort item, and keep non-negotiables clear so the goal stays intact. Follow through calmly, rotate the choices to keep routines fresh, and notice how these tiny acts of agency hit different, so you’ve got this.